Cameron was having one of those days where everything just felt hard and lethargic. After not sleeping so well, he woke up really early, only to be met with the sound of Pat and Aiden getting it on when he slowly made his way to the bathroom for a pee. They bloody got an early start the mornings they had to work, and it just served to make Cameron cranky that sex wasn't anywhere on his menu. Not that he would deny his brother after all the issues he had recently, but still. Cameron had a pee and went back to bed, putting the pillow over his ears and somehow managing to pass out cold again. The second time he woke up, it was after eleven in the morning, and he realised he must have really gone into a deep sleep. He didn't feel so groggy now, but his knee was hurting. He slept funny and all he wanted was a hot shower to try and get some circulation back in his leg.

There was a chair in the shower so he could sit, having to take the brace off so it didn't get wet. Today, he was grateful it was there and it was tempting to just sit there in the hot water for hours. He knew somewhere in the huge house Iz was there. She had been there for a few days now, and things were okay. There wasn't really any tension, even if it did feel weird for him knowing that she was staying in the room she cheated on him in. He mostly avoided it, and the subject. A lot of the time Pat or Aiden were there as a buffer, anyway, or there was visitors. It could have been worse. A whole lot worse.

( He had to reluctantly shut the shower off and get out so he didn't turn into a prune... )


Word Count | 5,131

The day before, Cameron let the hours slip away in Mel's company and he would be lying if he didn't admit that it was nice to just chill out and relax for awhile. The recent moments of panic he kept getting hit with everytime he let himself overthink things were uncomfortable and just really weren't helping him come to terms with everything and find a place in his head he could cope with it all. But then when he spoke to Pat about it the night before, Pat had gently pointed out that avoiding Isabel wasn't helping either. That it was going to be even more awkward and stressful for him to be expected to just show up on the day of the birth and try to deal with it all in a large rush. Pat told him he needed a toolkit of ways to cope with everything, that he could draw on as he needed. One tool might be talking about how he was feeling, another might be sitting and processing what Izzy did so he could move on from it. One of those tools had to starting to breach the gap with Isabel, or, as Pat explained also, once he babies were born, they would tap into the negativity. Bonding with them would be impossible, and he would lose the window of opportunity to just end up becoming a name in a bank account where he paid maintenance and nothing more.

( It wasn't going to be easy, but Cameron decided to make the trip to New York with Pat and Aiden that morning... )


Word Count | 4,550

LINK: Nope, two babies.

[Follows anything involved with the birth of agentfraser and straight2point's son - backdated]

Cameron wouldn't lie. He wasn't happy about being here in New York at Mount Sinai hospital. The difficult part was, Pat's new godson was here and he wanted Cameron to meet him, of course. Cameron did understand that bit, especially with Pat's sensitivity about children of his own. He more than valued when his loved ones were able to have children of their own, even if it did sting a little. Pat was a strong guy, and could see over that to be happy for other people. He loved kids. That was why it was so difficult for Cameron to understand why Pat wouldn't just do anything to get one of his own. It wasn't on the menu anymore, though. Pat had to painfully tell Lachlan that he wasn't going to take their offer of Tara as a surrogate. It was the right thing to do; Lachlan had been so cut up with Tara's illness taking a serious dive, putting both her life and little RJ's at risk. They were just too precious to him, and Pat wouldn't be able to live with himself to put that on line for his own benefit. No one could argue that Tara's health could be precarious, and had especially been when she was pregnant with RJ. Pat wanted Lachlan to have that special experience of RJ's birth unique to him. Pat's heart always broke when someone's close to him was. But that didn't mean that Cameron didn't know how much Pat was still hurting with it, and Aiden too.

( So, with the arrival of Lachlan's parents from Scotland to help out in Princeton, Cameron and Pat were able to disappear for a little while to make the trek to New York to meet the new arrival... )


Word Count | 3,345

It had been awhile since Cameron had taken it upon himself to get pissed. With the painkillers he was taking, it was advised he shouldn't, so he hadn't. Not even when all the shit with Isabel went down, and that was probably part of the reason he had struggled with it; he had no outlet to purge the stress from his system. It was only when Lachlan was around with the wee one earlier trying to nudge Cameron out of his funk that the straight-to-the-point Scot just suggested Cameron get sloshed. Granted, it was while the frazzled Yodalan was trying to coax his baby son back out from under the sofa where he had rolled during the course of the conversation. The little boy, however, continued to lie under there on his belly just out of reach of his Dadddy's fingers, giggling himself into a drooling mess and hiccup fit. Then somehow found a dried up old potato chip under there, which immediately got snapped up and shoved into said drooly mouth. Cameron couldn't help but be amused at how quick Lachlan dived under the sofa, breaching that gap and sliding a finger into the wet cavern to fish the chip back out again. It was funny for Cameron to watch Lachlan in father mode. They had grown up together and Lachlan had always been the devious yet kind-hearted sex pot rock star with a string of girls ready to find out what he was sporting under his kilt. Now he just had the dad and husband thing down, and it even suited him better than the rock star thing.

But baby RJ wasn't having a bar of being robbed of the chip and started bawling, which piqued Cameron's anxiety levels. He seemed to have a tough time dealing with kids crying. It just distressed him for some reason. Once Lachlan's upper half reappeared with his crying son in his arms, it was clearly evident it was time to head home to Mummy, and RJ was bundled back up into the buggy sans soggy chip and Cameron was once again left alone in Pat and Aiden's large, ultra-trendy modern living room.

Drunk was inevitable.

He was now sprawled on the sofa with some old tapes of his games playing on the large wall-mounted plasma TV, Liverpool jersey proudly in place, fifth beer of a six-pack in his hand as he loudly (and drunkenly) sung You'll Never Walk Alone, his team song, slurring just about every word and still managing to take mouthfuls from the beer bottle when he wasn't waving it in the air to the song playing on the stereo over the top of the game. Yodaland really did have sound advice.

[Follows THIS]

A sheet was draped over Harri's belly, her long legs wrapped around it as she gave a satisfied sigh, even laughed a little. The arousal that had been driving her crazy for hours was gone, in it's place nothing but bliss. Her hand moved, touching her breasts tenderly to somehow urge them to stop aching. As her hand moved back down, it brushed against a leg that wasn't hers. Somehow in the seconds between orgasm, and now, she'd forgotten who had been fucking her.

She was naked, pregnant with another man's baby, and Cameron Preston was still nestled up tight behind her. Her hand moved again, fingers brushing against his arse. She wished things were different. She wished she'd stayed with Cameron, and had never given Marcus fucking Fraser another thought. Then she felt the baby kick, and let a sigh, this one full of sadness. She wanted the baby.

Harri found Cameron's hand, and pressed it against her belly, letting him feel her son kick. "Thank you."

( Cameron let his hand linger for only a few moments before he pulled it away. It felt strange, in a way he wasn't sure he could place in his mind. There was maybe just a hint of awkwardness creeping through him, and the whole hand on the belly thing brought him back down to reality with a hard thump. That felt like a post-coital biological father thing to do, not a post-coital frustrated bordering on angry sex fucking with a muddy past between them and their exes... )


Word Count | 3,011

23.2.1. A little of what you fancy does you good

Co-written with straight2point
[Follows THIS and THIS]

Harri was close to pulling her hair out. Flynn turning her down on the basis that she was pregnant was enough to piss her off. What right did he have?! It wasn't like being pregnant was a disease, even if she was wondering if Fraser-Campbell sperm was. It was even getting to the point where she was tempted to call James to give her a helping cock. He did get her into this fucking predicament after all. He owed her. The sex wouldn't mean anything, not on Harri's part. She just needed someone to get her off, and to get off now.

( Perspiration had broken out across her skin, and she was combing her fingers through her long blonde hair as she gritted her teeth... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 3,020

2.23. And it's so sad,
It's too bad
Maybe I can make you feel better
Oh maybe I'm supposed to make you feel better
Dark Blue - No Doubt

Co-written with timemaychange
[Follows THIS and THIS]

It was times like this that Cameron was relieved he was a social smoker. It gave him something to do with his hands when he wasn't sure what else to do with the rest of him. He was sitting at one of the outdoor picnic tables in the ground of Princeton Plainsboro after pinching a couple of smokes off Riley, who was the reason he was here in the first place. Apparently some sister of one of the nurses he worked with wanted to meet him. That alone had set off a discontent in Cameron. He wasn't in the mood to play the sports star card today, or be forcibly polite. In fact, he wanted to curl up in a dark hole somewhere and pretend the rest of the world didn't exist, especially after Pat got his claws out about the whole situation and left Cameron more confused than he had been in the first place.

( But Riley had insisted that neither the nurse nor his sister was in it for the squealing fangirl wanting to keep his sweaty shirt or used coffee cup to sell on eBay sort... )

2.5. "It's all right letting yourself go, as long as you can get yourself back."
Mick Jagger

Co-written with sexyinscrubs

The relief that had flooded through Cameron when Pat finally pulled through and woke up with his vision returning had been almost crippling for him. The doctors had been talking about the possibility Pat might not regain his sight at all, or that the ordeal of the second bleed in his brain in two years, no matter how small, might have been too taxing on his MS for him to pull out of this latest attack on his feet. They didn't know if he would be in a wheelchair permanently this time. But with a good few days of recuperation under his belt, Pat was back on the mend and returning more and more to his old self as he started to feel better. The wheelchair issue wasn't one that could be answered yet. Pat's body was still weakened from the illness and he would need physio yet again, but the prognosis had shifted from uncertain to hopeful. Ironically, both twins now found themselves in the clutches of physiotherapy, with Cameron now well able to sympathise how hard Pat fought to get back on his feet after he had been sick.

( In fact, Pat had been well enough that morning for Aiden to make the nervous decision to go to New York with Harri for the day so she could collect some things after choosing to stay in Princeton to lick her wounds are the split with James... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 1,720

LINK: After everything, he just wanted to go home and forget anything to do with America, New York... and who lived there.

LINK: Above all else, he was the most angry at himself for believing it would actually work when it didn't have a chance.

1.29. Being good isnt always easy
No matter how hard I try
When he started sweet-talkin' to me
He'd come and tell me everything is all right
He'd kiss and tell me everything is all right
Can I get away again tonight?
'Son of a Preacher Man' - Dusty Springfield

Co-written with isabelowens
[Follows THIS and THIS]

Isabel hovered in the doorway to Pat's room. She remembered being here before, hovering just like she was now. Only there had been a very different feeling in her stomach. She still hated watching Cameron suffer while Pat was here. She pressed her lips together, and glanced at Aiden in the corner with Harri. Iz stepped back as she felt a surge of nausea, not sure if it was because of the pregnancy, or guilt. She'd just been fucking James while Harri was here taking care of her best friend.

She looked at Cameron again, and sucked in a breath as she walked into Pat's room. She placed her hand his shoulder, and gave it a gentle squeeze. She couldn't do this with Harri here. Not right there so she would hear every word. It was up to James to talk to his girlfriend. Aiden seemed to want to stretch his legs though, and Izzy watched him and Harri leave before taking the empty chair next to Cameron. Pat was asleep, and Izzy watched him. How was she even supposed to have this conversation with Cameron's sick twin right there. It just didn't seem likely that Cameron would leave him.

Iz wet her lips and turned her attention to Cameron. "Have you eaten anything yet?"

( Cameron couldn't look at her at first... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 1,754

1.15. "The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not."
Grey's Anatomy

Co-written with mrpublicity
[Simultaneous to THIS]

When Cameron returned from the bathroom, where he had literally just sat in one of the cubicles on the closed toilet for close to two hours lost in his own thoughts to try and just think rationally, Aiden was alone at Pat’s bedside. He had Pat’s pink iPod in his ears, his head resting tiredly on his arm that was lying beside Pat’s stomach. Cameron didn’t want to startle him, so he moved slowly to take the seat beside him, giving him enough warning of his presence. Pat looked much the same; small, pale, thin, sick. The new drugs pumping through his system were taking their toll. He wasn’t awake often, and a couple of the times he was, he spent vomiting from side effects until they had to give him another drug to stop the vomiting. It felt like a vicious cycle. With every needle, and poke, and prod Cameron witnessed the doctors giving his twin, it felt like they were more and more ripping his heart out by the bloody roots and dumping it on the bed beside Pat.

( Aiden caught sight of the movement in his peripheral vision and lifted his head to offer Cameron the faintest hint of a tired smile, reaching up to take the iPod from his ears... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 2,315

37.8. Reveal

Co-written with isabelowens & pullmysteth
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS, but before THIS]

Isabel tried not to look too worried as she lay back on the exam bed in nothing but one of the flimsy hospital gowns. She'd never had a problem with her body, but she was about to get unequivocal proof that she was pregnant, and that scared her. It scared her more than it should. Things were still a muddle in her head even after talking to James. She still, on some level, wished he'd agreed to 'closure'. She was a bad, bad person. She had this fantastic footballer, and she still wanted to be with her ex.

( Her green eyes were squeezed shut momentarily and she let out a slow breath... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe



Word Count | 3,067

1.23. And then I'm in your arms I'll try to relax
Don't want to lie awake all night wondering where we're at
Oh this tossing and turning won't clear these blues away
When I am longing just to hear you say
'No Turning Back' - Sarah Blasko

Co-written with isabelowens
[Follows THIS]

Cameron realised that somewhere over the course of the morning, he'd hit a peak in his emotions. It happened every time Pat got sick and the hours continued to tick away that he didn't wake up or show signs of improvement. The adrenaline stopped pumping and being able to maintain the rollercoaster of emotions became impossible, falling flat and giving way to just an exhausted numbness. Aiden was practically out cold in the arm chair in the corner of Pat's room looking about as comfortable as a frog in a blender. He had a blanket tucked around him, courtesy of Mrs Brennan who had come to be on hand until Cameron and Pat's own parents arrived. So far, they had been having trouble getting on a flight and were waiting at Heathrow for a standby. Cameron knew Aiden wasn't well himself, and he was trying his best to help him out, but his own stamina was little to none. The only person he had told about his knee was Izzy, and he hadn't told anyone about the pregnancy. It was all sitting heavily in his heart, already on top of worrying about Pat, worrying if he was even going to be okay when he woke up. There was always the risk he wouldn't be.

( He stood up stiffly from the plastic chair beside Pat's bed, trying to make sure he didn't make too much noise as he collected his crutches... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 4,925

LINK: It's like he felt everything all at once, yet at the same time, felt nothing at all.

1.26. When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we see
No I won't be afraid
No I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me
'Stand By Me' - John Lennon

[Follows THIS and THIS]

Cameron drew a rough, shaky breath and glanced up the ceiling, swallowing heavily a few times to try and stop himself from crying. It was probably just a sheer miracle he was alone with Pat in the hospital room. With Aiden and Harri, Lachlan and Tara, Riley and Evie, and Izzy all here in the wake of Pat's unexpected admission, Pat was rarely alone in the room, which was a small comfort for Cameron. He kept his hand wrapped around his twin's fingers. Pat's hands were always so cold when he was in hospital. It reminded Cameron of something Tara said after Lachlan was shot. He had loss so much blood, there was little blood circulation in his hands and she said she would only know he was still alive when his hands were warm like they should be. It was something that had stuck with Cameron ever since and came pushing its way to the front of his mind every time he found himself sitting vigil at Pat's side in a hospital.

( He had a strange sensation that someone had smacked his head into a brick wall; dazed and confused with too many thoughts and not enough ability to process them... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 682

23.1.2 "Being a Dad is the new black." - Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

Co-written with isabelowens
[Set about a week after THIS]

Cameron shouldn't be drinking with his painkillers, but he didn't care. He poured a generous splash of Scotch into a mug and downed it quickly, squeezing his eyes closed as it burned going down. He coughed a little and then rinsed the mug out, setting it in the dish rack. He had just had a case meeting with his doctors and physio about the progress of his knee. The new season was about to start in England and he had hoped he would be back in form for it. He wasn't. They had just laid down the facts to him in plain black and white that he was going to be out for this entire season. The injury in his knee wasn't healing quickly, although there had been some progress in the physio. Not enough to get him back on the field, though. In fact, he needed a year to recover and strengthen the wound or he would have permanent issues and even likely a permanent limp. He felt like he was up shit creek without a paddle. Indeed, if he even had a paddle, his leg probably wouldn't be strong enough for him to use it.

( He hadn't told anyone what the doctors had said... )

All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe


Word Count | 3,330